A script to use

Ask the child to sit or stand comfortably and hold one hand out, palm up. Tell them: "We are going to draw a square with our breath. Breathe in through your nose while I count to three, then out through your mouth while I count to three."

Trace one side of the square in the air with a finger as they breathe in and the next as they breathe out, so each square is 2 breaths, or have them trace it on their own hand. Action for Healthy Kids has children trace the outline of a spread hand, breathing in up each finger and out down the other side.2 An NHS trust's staff leaflet suggests tracing around a phone or notepad.3

Do 2 or 3 squares the first time. Use invitations, with words like "I invite you to", and let children choose whether and when to join in.2

Keep the counts short

The adult version is 4 seconds on each side, with a hold after the in breath and after the out breath. Children's Health, a pediatric health system in Dallas, says the exact counts matter less than slowing the breath down. Its own example for children is a count of 3 in, a short pause and 4 out, with longer counts for older children.1

If the child strains, lifts their shoulders, or says it feels weird, shorten the counts, or drop the square and breathe slowly together. The aim is a slower, quieter breath.

Belly breathing for younger children

For younger children, Ambitious about Autism suggests balloon or belly breathing before anything with counts.4

To teach it, put one hand on the belly above the belly button and one on the upper chest. Breathe in through the nose so the lower hand rises, then out slowly through the mouth so it falls. Lying down with a small stuffed animal on the belly lets a child watch it rise and fall. To stretch the out breath, pretend to blow out birthday candles. If only the chest hand moves, encourage the child to breathe lower; Children's Health links shallow chest breathing with anxious breathing. After a few breaths, ask how they feel and whether anything has changed.1

Action for Healthy Kids describes exhale games with no holds at all: humming like a bee on the out breath with hands cupped over the ears, or blowing slowly into cupped hands as if blowing up a balloon.2

When to teach it

Children's Health suggests practicing while the child is calm, so the skill is there in stressful moments, and making it part of the bedtime routine.1 A break in the school day works too.

Before the first square, ask the child to breathe normally for a moment and notice how they feel, so they can compare afterward.1 Offer it to a whole class or family rather than singling out a child who is struggling.

What to leave out

Action for Healthy Kids advises against breath holds with children from preschool through 12th grade, especially those who have been through trauma, because holding the breath can be a natural response to fear and can bring back distress. Its guidance is to focus on the natural flow of the breath.2

The script above follows that advice. Never force a child to hold their breath, and don't use the exercise as a punishment or a way to stop a child from expressing themselves.

In the classroom

The timer on this page can be projected, with the sound off, so the class can follow the circle as it grows and shrinks. It runs 3 in and 3 out; for older classes, equal breathing paces 4 in and 4 out, also with no holds. The countdown gives them a number to follow.

Keep it to 2 or 3 squares in a lesson. Sitting upright or lying down both work. Props help children see the breath: Action for Healthy Kids suggests cushions for floor sitting, and bubbles, pinwheels and feathers to show the breath.2

BreathKit, the app, is built for your own practice; this page is the one to put on a screen.

Questions

What age can children learn box breathing?

Children's Health says toddlers may find belly breathing hard and suggests teaching them to slow their breathing first. Children of elementary school age are ready to learn the basics of belly breathing, and older children can manage longer counts.1

Is 4-4-4-4 safe for children?

Action for Healthy Kids advises leaving breath holds out with school-age children,2 so use the square without holds, or equal breathing, with counts short enough that the child doesn't strain.

Can teenagers use the adult version?

Older children can take longer counts,1 but Action for Healthy Kids advises leaving breath holds out through 12th grade.2 Try 4 in and 4 out on the equal breathing timer instead, and shorten it if they strain.

How long should a child practice?

Start with 2 or 3 squares and stop when the child loses interest. A good experience matters more than the count.

Can box breathing calm a tantrum?

It is hard to learn a new skill mid-tantrum. Practice it when the child is calm; for young children who are upset, Children's Health suggests starting by slowing the breath.1 If they say no, let it go and try again another time.

What if my child won't do it?

Make it an invitation they can turn down,2 and try a playful version: blowing out birthday candles on their fingers, or watching a stuffed animal rise and fall on their belly.1

Related timers

This guide isn’t medical advice.

Sources

  1. Children's Health (Dallas). Breathing exercises for kids. Updated 30 January 2023.Counts for children, belly breathing steps, ages, and practicing when calm and at bedtime
  2. Action for Healthy Kids. Breathing and mindfulness exercises for kids.Hand tracing, invitational language, props, and the caution about breath holds with children
  3. Sherwood Forest Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust. Breathing exercises (staff wellbeing leaflet).Tracing a box shape around a phone or notepad
  4. Ambitious about Autism. Breathing strategies to support wellbeing.Balloon or belly breathing for younger children